Bitch, Don't Touch My Weave!

My youngest daughter has very little hair compared to her brother and sister. I do believe that it hasn't quite taken off yet but it will. My mother brought some old wigs along with dress-ups and fancy shoes for the kids to play with, the wig has not left her head for a couple of days now.

I notice a lot now that celebrity hair gets bigger and longer all the time and weaves, extension, and wigs are the norm if you are someone in front of the camera and even if your not. I think that particularly the under 25 set may feel pressure to add to their already more than adequate tresses.

Has an adequate head of hair gone the way of natural breasts, enhanced

meaning better?

Doing What I Can

I'm trying, every once in awhile, to rock being pregnant. A good friend just gave me this skirt, which is getting me most of the way there. Plus, my old Fluevog motorcycle boots that were very hip when I was 25, and have apparently made it back around a decade later.

(Though here's the sad news...I've expanded enough - in all areas and all directions - that they are so snuggly on my calves I've had to leave them partly unzipped. Also, I've worn this skirt three days in a row, because I'm having trouble bending over to see what's in my drawers. Much easier is what's on top of my dresser from yesterday.)

I feel much less concerned - necessarily - with how I look while I'm pregnant. It's such a lovely time to sink wholeheartedly into yoga pants and stretchy shirts, and into grand plans of post-partum exercise and trainers and regaining what's been lost...but all from the safety of my couch, a bowl of popcorn, and my expanding self.

But still. Occasionally pulling it all together while simultaneously incubating a person feels damn good.

Men Are Doing It, Too?

So, you know over here at Hip, Hot and Age Appropriate we don't usually post other people's stuff...mostly because we're so full of our own stuff there's hardly room for anyone else's! And also, we figure if you want re-hash, you'll go to Huffington Post.

That said, there's a new blog out there called The Hairpin. It's edited by women, for women, and it's damn smart.

(Guys can visit too, I suppose, if they can hang with the intelligent ladies.)

But there's a hilarious article up there that you must read...all about men suddenly dressing well and the mayhem that causes for the gals. It's called All Dudes Learned How to Dress and It Sucks, and given how much chatter we've heard from menfolk on our blog lately, it seemed timely.

If You Show Me Yours...by JED

(So you don't get bored of us, every week we post something sent to us by a reader or coerced out of friends and family. Could be a question, a letter, a poll, a picture...we're flexible. See below for this week's If You Show Me Yours post, and see the sidebar for info about how to participate!)

_______________________________________________

The New Sophisticate

Before this summer actually got under way, I spent a little time trying to get my “beach body” ready. I stopped eating chocolate-chip muffins at work. I worked out once or twice. Got the rollerblades rolling. Then summer arrived. I packed up the kids, headed for the neighborhood pool, and lost my resolve.

I lost my resolve because the fact is, unless you are Brad Pitt or Justin Chambers, if you show up at the pool with your kids, nobody cares about your abs. It turns out that abs are for young people. And it’s not just abs - summer is for young people. Summer is for slouching around in board shorts, sunglasses, and flip flops, and it is for young people.

For old people like myself (and by old person I mean over the age of 25, with children) summer is a tricky business. What I realized on that first day at the pool is that Summer is the season where old people dress exactly like young people. It’s the same bathing suits, sunglasses, and flop flops. It’s the same casual style. The difference is we make it look bad.

I’m not sure why this is, exactly. I certainly couldn’t pinpoint the moment I stopped looking cool in board shorts, and started looking like my wife was buying my clothes at Target while she was out picking up more diapers and tupperware storage bins (though probably it was when my wife started buying my clothes at Target while she was out picking up more diapers and tupperware storage bins), but I have a theory. And, like every good theory, it has a relevant sports analogy; we are playing their game.

Old people look bad when they dress like young people. It is a fact of life. The problem is that most of the time, and particularly in the summer, we don’t know what to do about it. Even if I admit that I don’t look as good in board shorts as I used to (which I generally refuse to do), but assuming that I refuse to dress like I buy exclusively at the country club’s pro shop, what can I do?

I happened to be thinking about this question when I saw this video by the Congolese rapper Balogi, and caught a glimpse of the solution:

LE JOUR D'APRES / SIKU YA BAADAYE (INDEPENDANCE CHA-CHA) from BALOJI on Vimeo.

Here is a group of people who are clearly hot (it’s the Congo) and have still made the effort to look sophisticated. OK, it’s a video, but the point remains. These people are dressing like grown-ups, and they look good. I am dressing like a college student, and I no longer do. So the hard realization is this; it is time to acknowledge that I am a grown up, and start working harder. Not just in the summer, but in general.

It’s not going to be easy. I am a sculptor by trade, and a mess by inclination. But there are no excuses. If they can wear suits in a club in the Congo, I can dress it up a little here in suburban Philadelphia. Because here’s what I’ve realized; sophistication is our game.

Young people don’t look sophisticated because they can’t. They slouch. They slump. They hook up in the backseats of cars, or on the couch. They stay out late, and roll out of bed at the last minute. They don’t take care of their things. They certainly don’t drop off the dry cleaning on Tuesday so they can have something to wear Saturday.

And even if all of that weren’t true it wouldn’t matter. In the end, the reason young people can’t appear sophisticated is because they aren’t. However nicely they may treat their things, or how much dry cleaning they might pick up, they aren’t self aware enough to present themselves confidently to the world. And that, to me, is a pretty good definition of the word.

As for me, I’m working on it. Thrown out a few things, done a little shopping, bought a steamer. Does that mean I’ll figure out how to present myself to the world with the confidence born of adulthood? I’ll keep you posted.

Maybe Red Is It?

Such interesting feedback about my wedding-dress options! I was leaning towards the belly-button-as-missile dress, but that has come out as one of the last popular options. I also liked the Forever 21 hoochie dress, but was given pause to consider the appropriateness of shopping there when not only am I no longer 21, I am no longer even in my early 30's.

(Though if we could have a moment on that topic - yes, they are called 'Forever' 21, but now they carry maternity clothes. And so does H+M. And while certainly 21 year olds do get pregnant and do need to be clothed during that time, I think we've just been handed a little insight into the actual market the honchos of Forever 21 are after - it's us, people. Those women who have just looked around and realized 'DAMN! Am I not 21 anymore? Is that the Land's End catalog I hear, calling my name? What is this new and scary land I'm in?' Actual twenty-one year olds don't need a place to shop called 'Forever 21,' because yo...they know they're forever 21. It's the rest of us who are already in on the joke.)

Rant over. I paused, and have decided I feel fine shopping at Forever 21. No one gets to stay there forever, least of all twenty-one-year-olds. So enjoy it, kiddos...your time will come.

OK, my sister sent me one more dress to consider:

It's from Target, and gets bad reviews on the website. But I only have to wear it once, and it looks like it might do justice to my (momentarily) enormous breasts. They should get their moment in the sun, don't you think, before being exposed to the world five times a day as feedbags?

I really hear you, lovely commenters, on the dearth of interesting and fancy maternity clothes. It's pretty depressing out there, unless you go to A Pea in the Pod and spend a million dollars for something designed by Heidi Klum's minions and clearly modeled by someone who conceived last night. I would have thought the extreme interest in celebrity pregnancy might have spurred the cheap(er) places to step up their game a little, but perhaps the purchase power of the less famous pregnant people is not extending into the realm of evening-wear. After all, this is my third pregnancy and only the first time I've had cause to shuck my elastic-banded jeans and sweaters.

Thoughts on the new option? Or, on shopping at a place called Forever 21?

Yes, y'all, it's fall!

Get out your high boots and kick those leaves, throw on those paper thin jackets that don't make any sense at any other time of year and wear them right now before it gets too cold and...

wrap yourself up in scarves!

As a friend and I peruse the thrift shops for scarves, I secretly fantasize that I find a vintage Hermes scarf

discarded by some rich stylish old lady.

Can a scarf be -or not- be hip, hot, or age appropriate?

Oh, they sure can. Skulls, bones, and peace signs are most definitely not age-appropriate (though I would like to mention that I happen to know that Jess has three skull-and-bones scarves in her closet. If you ask, she'll say they're for her kids to use).

I don't know why I didn't buy this one...it was one I could have worn all the time, and it was only $3.

Following is a video to share some ways in which to tie your scarves...we know you've always wanted to know how.

The Wedding Dilemma

So, I get to go to a wedding this winter, which in and of itself is fine. Fun, even.

However, at THIS wedding I will be about 27 months pregnant, or at least that is how I will look.

I've never had to dress up for a fancy occasion when pregnant, so I'm scouring my options and want to know what you think. Just so you have all the info, 1) it's a black-tie wedding, 2) it's on New Year's Eve, 3) my husband is the best man, so 4) I will be solo with both my kids for a chunk of it, and 5) I'm not spending a bushel on a one-night stand, which cuts out most of the really nice options.

Option#1:

Forever 21's new maternity section (which, as an aside, apparently can't be found in any stores near me) has this one dress which might be too casual on top/too short on the bottom. There will be family there, and showing your moneymaker to family while pregnant might be a pretty serious no-no. Otherwise, I like the way it hangs and I think it might be the closest to my style in the bunch. Middle of winter, though?

Option#2:

From the Pea in a Pod family, whatever the super downmarket version is (Motherhood?). I...like it. But not much. It looks a bit stiff, you know? But that might just be the model. It does have a pretty neckline, and is probably the most winter-appropriate fabric. This would, I think, be a very safe option.

Option#3:

This is from the Gap, not a place I've spent much time of late. Again, I...like it. Could the ruffly bits be a bit matronly? (Here is the definition: ma·tron·ly/ˈmātrənlē/Adjective: Like or characteristic of a matron, esp. in being dignified and staid and typically associated with having a large or plump build). One of my favorite things to do when pregnant is to try desperately to pretend am not that which I clearly am, i.e. matronly. OK, say the ruffles aren't matronly. Then I think I would really like the form-fitting without being form-cinching shape of it. It looks as if it would skim my bod nicely, and I could probably dance and sit without showing my undies. But will I look like I got lost on my way to a business meeting?

Option #4:

Last option, also from the Gap. These are probably nicely made, and when they say silk they probably mean it (unlike Forever 21). This one also hangs well, is a good length, nice color, blah blah. It's a style I like better than the previous one, and looks less like a work dress...though I'm not sure it looks like a black-tie-wedding dress, either. Also, I'm slightly disturbed, knowing what I do about post-photo editing, that I can see her bellybutton so clearly. If I can see hers that well in that dress, mine will look like a low-slung missile about to attack anyone who walks by.

OK, that's what I've found so far. Thoughts? Suggestions? Votes?

My Sartorialist

This was my escort on the home-stretch from yoga class:

Me = yoga clothes

My son = three-piece suit

It's what he changed into every day when he arrived home from preschool last year. That sort of vision...you've either got it, or you don't.

No Stripes for 40?

WHAT!?!?! The clock is ticking, I turn 40 in November and I am noticing all theses rules and trends that cross my radar as I am nearing this oh-so-momentous occasion.

one of the many striped variety

The latest: well, I really enjoy Tim Gunn, but can't say I agree about his 6 things a women over 40 should never wear...and I will not give up my beloved stripes for him.

Stripes over 40?!survey software

If You Show Me Yours...By BRENT

(So you don't get bored of us, every week we post something sent to us by a reader or coerced out of friends and family. Could be a question, a letter, a poll, a picture...we're flexible. See below for this week's If You Show Me Yours post, and see the sidebar for info about how to participate!) _______________________________________________ So here's the email that arrived in our mailbox the other day: Just wondering if I'm hip, hot, and age-appropriate.

Now, I must say - for the sake of context, and so you don't think we have pervy semi-naked men in Chippendale pants emailing us regularly - that this is from a very old friend of mine, whom I've known since we were in high school.

It's also necessary to mention that, while in high school, he would totally have worn these pants, probably to a party he hadn't been invited to (though with much less chest hair). It's even more worth mentioning that he was one of our first fans on Facebook. Not sure what that says, but I like it alot.

OK, so this arrived, and clearly more information was required. This is what came a few days later:

As for the pants...they were a thrift store find and an impulse purchase with no real purpose in mind except for the hopes of finding a reason to wear them somewhere. The picture is actually from a couple of years ago when we were in Missouri while Sandi was working on her doctorate. I had put them on as a joke for when she came home. What woman wouldn't like to walk in and see her man in pants like those?

So...umm, in answer to your question....yes. I do think you look kind of hot, in an 80's metal hair band sort of way. The pants fit quite well, actually, though I'm wondering a bit about what shoes you might rock them with. Or maybe these are part of a "stay-at-home" sort of outfit, especially paired with that tool box you're draped on? I'm going to have to go with not-so-much on the question of hip, though I bet in some Eastern European circles you could fit the bill. I think Axl Rose took faux snakeskin out with him, and though you know I have a soft spot for him I must declare that look officially over. And as for age-appropriate...well, why the hell not? You're a modern man, and shouldn't be held to khakis and button-downs. Or, to things that anyone else would wear.

But send me a picture of you, those pants, your wife, and a public place, and I'll know you're for real.

A Scuffle With Forty

Had to add this as a follow up to my last post.

Although I am definitely not fantasizing about young buck surf instructors teaching me to surf (really, *cough cough*), I came across this book/life time movie and had to laugh out loud.

And Heather Locklear ain't no 40 in that movie...try 47!

Women We Love

What makes someone you notice...noticeable? Sometimes it’s the clothes, the look, the hotness, the dog, whatever. But the more we do this the more it seems that there is an intangible there that goes beyond the specifics; something in the attitude and the confidence and the riskiness of a truly stylish person, someone for whom their style is a second, and fabulous, skin.

Justine is a notice-able, which is why she’s one of the Women We Love. Born in England to British parents, oldest of three, married to an artist, mother of two, with a delicate, colorful and detailed style that runs through her closet and her home. She wears the same large silver hoop earrings every day, along with a shiny mess of silver bangles she’s collected since childhood. She loves robes, and necklaces, and a bargain: she finds her goods at discounters, sales, consignment, or thrift stores...little, if any, retail.

She is quiet and reserved, but her clothes are swirling and unusual - she wears bright patterns and heavy-metal necklaces and short shorts and strappy pink prom heels. Her jewelry and other accoutrements follow along; they are bold pieces that look like art on her walls and shelves and neck and wrists. Her stylishness - really, her self - is reflected everywhere you look.

Meet Justine:

What are you thinking about as you get dressed?

What can I wear that's comfortable today?!

Comfort varies each day, depending on the monthly bloat (!), the activities of the night before (!) or the mood-of-the day (!), but since I buy clothes that I like, that have varying degrees of "comfiness," and are somewhat "stylish," as long as I select something that fits that morning's whim, I'm good to go.

How would you describe your style?

Simply stated: colorful, flattering, mixed genres.

How has your style changed over the years (as you've gotten older, changed jobs, had children)?

As a teenager, it was skimpy and tight. . . (Shudder to think of that, now!)

As an adult, it was sophisticated and contemporary.

Now, as a woman in her "prime" (ha!) with two small children, I'm more confident in what I wear, more willing to try different styles. I can wear clothes and not worry about my image so much...I can be who I want to be, and that may change from day-to-day.

But I know that ultimately, I'm "more" than my clothes. That sounds cliche, but I'm much happier at this stage in my life doing what I'm doing, and I don't worry about things so much. I enjoy looking for clothes that represent different sides of myself, whether it's found in a big department store, a vintage clothes storeor a thrift store. I like the hunt and surprise myself sometimes with what I find. It feels more fun now.

Why is style important to you?

I like to feel good in what I'm wearing, and I like to present myself in a positive way to the world.