Dress Up Box

So I got a blast from Urban Outfitters the other day about a contest for Mother's Day, in collaboration with this fabulous blog called My Mother Is A Style Icon. I spent hours looking at it - readers send in heyday photos of their mothers in all their youthful and stylish glory - and it made me think about my own mother, me as a child, and my daughters. And about our blog, and about how my children will remember me and my style.

My 5 year old daughter has a pretty strong idea of what she wants to wear and what she thinks I should wear. The days I wake up and make an effort to put on something flattering, or maybe lipstick instead of just my trusty lip gloss, she compliments me. More than that, she really notices the effort and rewards me with approval. I sometimes find myself dressing for her. I know that my own style, if you can call it that at five, was that I refused to wear dresses and coveted fancy patent leather shoes; I am not much different now.

my daughter and I trying on ALL the accessories at Forever 21

I was and still can be very self conscious about the way I look; my body, face, hair and of course my own style. I don’t know if I over-do it with my daughters: I tell them they are beautiful all the time, along with stand up straight and hold your head high. I compliment outfits, play a lot of dress up, hair do’s, pretend to do make up. It feels girly, silly, creative and harmless…I hope.

I can’t remember doing these things with my own mother, or what she wore when I was young. Dress up and the like was not on the list as a way of bonding. Even though I don’t think of my mom as a big influence on my style, there are three things that I really remember.

The first was her nursing uniform. It was not the white lab coat, or the scrubs with little friendly animals printed on them; it was something to behold. A short A-line dress with sheer white hose and tiny white hat.

Upon graduation from nursing school my mother received the very ceremonious cap and cape that she was so proud of.

The nursing cap (which fell out of fashion in the 80’s) was a different style depending on the alma mater. The trend in the 60’s and 70’s was to wear your cap at precarious angles, so my mom wore hers as far back on her head as was possible. Another nurse from a different school may have worn her cap almost on her forehead.

The second was the dress-up clothes that were kept in a steamer trunk in our basement. It consisted of my mother's old prom and bridesmaid dresses. Some had full tulle skirts, some were Jackie O style, complete with pill box hat. There was a dress from Hawaii that she wore not too long before she married my father. In some old photo albums she had, there are pictures of her in the all the actual clothes and I thought she looked beautiful.

The third was a night I remember when my parent were still married. My brother and I were being dropped off at my grandmom's and we were seeing our parents off. I think they were going dancing together, which was not something they did, ever. It was the mid seventies, and they were on their way to a disco to meet friends. They laughed together in my grandmom's kitchen, teaching us to do the hustle. My mother looked so mysterious and feminine to me, like her dresses in the steamer trunk . That night she wore a mint green wrap dress and high heel candies which I will never forget. I pilfered them from the back of her closet some years later and practiced wearing them.

It's almost Mother's Day, so pay homage to your own mama, and if you are a mama yourself...do it with style!

me, crammed into my mom's Hawaiian dress (but significantly older than she was when she wore it!)

Happy Mother's Day Mom!