What A Difference A Month Makes...

Remember this...

and this?

Now it's this...

and this!

So this fall I've got my work cut out for me - staying hip, probably forgetting hot, but ALWAYS going for age-appropriate while lugging a beach ball around under my shirt (and, let's be fair, a few deflated beach balls on my butt and thighs!).

Seeing my maternity clothes again, now on go-round three and loudly shrieking I'm no longer fashionable please let me go, is already making me want to weep a little bit. But rest assured this will be the last time, so I'm making do with what I've got. We'll see how it goes.

Beach Blanket Bingo

More on the beach front:

I always thought my best asset was my flat belly. I am short, with kind of chubby stubby legs, big butt, and small breasts. I felt OK at the beach in a bikini because I had great abs and it was probably the only place I could show my good side - I thought.

Then came three kids, and a classical c-section I wasn’t expecting. My scar is up and down, from my pubic line to up past my belly button. No hidden scar in the bikini line. It definitely put a crack in my self-esteem and fragile body image.

Here is what I have found: acceptance of the things I cannot change and change the things I can. The scar does not prevent me from getting back in shape and maintaining.

Scars do have a story, though I don’t want to share it with everyone proudly in my bikini at this point as some would say you should do. I am proud though. It is a reminder of what I can endure, an ability to heal.

I do suffer the one-piece and sometimes feel I look like a granny.

old timey bathing suit contest from god only knows when

My current beach cover-everything-up is a dress I found at H&M some time ago. I bought it as my children were pulling on me and hiding in clothing racks, so I didn't try-before-buy. It is TOTALLY see through. I thought it was a sun dress, though I can't imagine what you would wear under it. A slip?

So - too late to return, time to repurpose as beach cover up.

I mean, it is really sheer...maybe it is a slip?

So back to the one piece bathing suits. I agree that it is really hard to find one that looks good and doesn’t make me feel like I have seal skin. My solution of late to take care of one-piece-blues? I add an SPF surf shirt and spend time actually surfing (well, boogie boarding, but doing it really well!).

Surf shirt bought at some cheapy beach chair store

One beautifully liberating thing that seems to be happening more often as I approach 40 is that I am a whole lot less self-conscious.

In my teenage years I grew up about 10 minutes from the ocean. I loved to swim and probably would have loved to spend all day learning to surf. I realize now I was too punk rock to ditch my layers of black clothes to hang on the beach and actually to body conscious and embarrassed to try surfing in front of anyone.

In my twenties I must say I was no longer too punk rock, but the body image and self-conscious feelings ruled.

Now I spend all day at the beach with my husband and children, boogie boarding in the surf with the rest of the twelve year olds and a joyful grin. I want to surf; big butt and one piece seal suit be damned, I will surf.

I would love to go back and shake myself as a younger woman and tell her you don’t know what you're missing. I am not going to miss it now.

My current bucket list to do/fantasy vacation!

Freshen Up

So I have been thinking about what makes me feel hip and/or hot that has nothing to do with what’s in the closet.

And it's music. A spiritual facelift.

Not any old music , but NEW music. Turn down the Laurie Berkner your toddlers are listening to, do NOT pull out any of the old sentimental Duran Duran albums of your youth. DO ask your babysitter what's on her Ipod, find a cool public radio station and stream it through your computer. (I like KCRW lately). Make a mix with music made in the last 5-10 years and go for a run, a drive, and whatever, and listen…

Here's one of mine:

What new music are you listening to?

How Do They Do It?

ways to age like the french femmes...

read on

Rarely Seen in the Same Place...

More Press

Yet another super comfy screen printed by hand t-shirt dress,

Found it at the very local and fabulous Art Star, but you can find more like it here.

On a Manual Press, People

My mom got me this shirt a few years ago for my birthday from a local (to my mom, that is) gal who designs and prints her own shirts and scarves and tunics and tank tops (along with, it sounds like, some coerced help from her husband - the best kind of free labor!).

I love it for a number of reasons, but mostly because someone designed it and put that design on by hand. That makes me think twice (or, since I'm often sort of slow, three or four times) about how much crap I buy at Target and it's ilk. This was certainly more expensive than a shirt at Target, but SHE PRINTED IT HERSELF. ON A MANUAL PRESS (or maybe her husband did, but either way it's damn impressive).

That is just so cool, and so worth my money.

Check her and her goods out at Red Prairie Press, and spend some money you would have otherwise blown at Target.

Oh, and there are those awesome shoes again.

Get used to them - turns out they go with everything and make it all look better.

So now I wear them every day!

If You Show Me Yours...by AMY

(So you don't get bored of us, every week we post something sent to us by a reader or coerced out of friends and family. Could be a question, a letter, a poll, a picture...we're flexible. See below for this week's If You Show Me Yours post, and see the sidebar for info about how to participate!)

______________________________________

Hi ladies!

First, I'm a huge fan of your blog, and I'm so glad it's out there!

Now, my question: I have an 18-month-old, delivered by C-section. I am now facing a trip to the beach, which is exciting, yet scary. I have managed to avoid wearing a swimming suit since I had my daughter and the bikinis (bought at Target for $30) I wore back when I had abdominal muscles simply will not cut it anymore.

What do I do? Wear a one-piece? I picture those as hopelessly frumpy, but there have to be options beyond those with skirts or those that professional swimmers wear. Your children are older than mine, so I'm hoping you can offer some advice in this area. We all can't look like Heidi Klum or Padma Lakshmi!

Oh, and if it helps, Jess, I think my body is more like yours - I'm about 5'8" and 150 lbs. (fighting to lose those last 10 pounds...)

Thanks!

Amy

_____________________

Dear Amy,

We hear you, sister. The post-baby beach experience is not super fun, what with all those teenagers prancing around. But their time will come (and since ours has clearly arrived!) let me reassure you that are definitely some options to get you to the sand.

Denise and I, as much discussed, have different body issues, but since she's on vacation I get to be the one to tackle this issue, pictures and all.

So - like you, I'm 5'8" and weigh about 140 pounds. I never had a kickin' stomach, but my abs reacted to pregnancy by totally giving up the ghost. I always look about 4 months pregnant, so bikinis have been off the table for me as well.

With bikinis gone, I looked into monokinis, which sounded like an interesting middle ground. Regard:

It's like the most heinous cross between the bad parts of a bikini and the bad parts of a one-piece. Teenager-wear. Avoid like the plague. Moving on.

Then I tried a one-piece, which Denise wears with great style. I think this can be a lovely option, though you have to be willing to spend some dollars to get a good one. Target has pretty boring ones, but these from J.Crew, $80 each, are not at all professional swim-wear. I think the trick may be in the unusual necklines and shirred details on the body:

But then, I discovered the magic of the tankini, that wonderful cross between a bikini and a one-piece, and I had my new post-baby beach style. There are a few tricks to getting them to work for you. The most significant is sussing out the tops that are LONG. Lots of them, particularly at J.Crew, stop right below the belly button, which for me is a no-go. You all know my love-hate with Target, but they do it right when it comes to tankini tops that don't cling and are long.

(Oh man...I did add pictures. It seemed wussy not to. So here they are.)

Big lesson with this one - large patterns and good necklines make your difficult parts look smaller, or less noticeable, or something. This was a Target find for about $30.

It is unusual that I buy a set, though. Bottoms that don't go with everything irk me, so I have a million black bikini bottoms. I'm a big fan of the J. Crew ones that tie at the side - I do NOT like tight bottoms...muffin top...whole other post.

So buy a bunch of bottoms in your favorite color, then you can more judiciously find tops that are interesting, fit well, and are fairly cheap. Every top I own comes from Target, though Old Navy has a few good ones, too. I think Gap bathing suits are terribly boring, and anything beyond that is too expensive for to pay for a suit.

I put this last one in for some humility...this is actually a top I wear regularly, and it turns out to look bad. Why? It's too tight, and not flattering in the bust. Black is usually quite slimming, but not if it's painted on like spandex. And it's good to accentuate whatever you've got goin' on, like your bust or your butt or whatever it is, which I am really not doing here. So, lesson learned.

There you go! Hope it helps - let us know if you find anything fabulous.

Jess and Denise

Saved by Gladiators

Right now, it's all about staying COOL. And not cool, like cooool, but like actually managing your body temperature. Because it's hot here right now, so hot it's a little hard to breathe.

This dress is an old friend of mine, though I think it may have lost it's very hot hip-ness a few years ago. It's one of those baggy-in-the-waist, flowy-at-the-bottom deals that makes it OK to wear something strapless during the day and is nice and loose on, you know, my problematic waistline.

A beloved friend gave me this fab necklace for my birthday, from a local shop called Zuzu. It's made of something that feels like porcelain but isn't, and looks heavy but isn't. I think my bracelet is actually some part of a small bicycle that, like a sucker, I paid actual money for at a flea market. But it doubles as a necklace or bracelet and doesn't leave grease on me, so I figure I came out ahead.

And these are old-as-the-hills flats from Target, or Old Navy, that are comfortable and can be worn barefoot without taking on any unfortunate foot-smell. So overall I was feeling pretty good about my get-up...breezy, comfortable, accessorized, multi-colored, etc. And then...

Denise and I went shopping, just for a second. And I found these, second-hand suede laceups with real leather for $18. What?! So I changed right then and there, because obviously I'd been missing these...in a big way.

If You Show Me Yours...by MARISA

(So you don't get bored of us, every week we post something sent to us by a reader or coerced out of friends and family. Could be a question, a letter, a poll, a picture...we're flexible. See below for this week's If You Show Me Yours post, and see the sidebar for info about how to participate!)

_______________________________________________

"I'm leavin' on a jet plane don't know when I'll be back again..." seemed to be the tune associated with me for much of my life, from the age of nine to present, albeit a little less now with three children, a husband, a restaurant and a clothing and jewelry line keeping me grounded, but wanderlust and travel are still an integral part of my psyche, my business and thankfully of my husbands' too.

So this is our annual trip to Italy, my other half: my father lives outside of Rome in a small mountain village that I have called home for many a summer and many holidays, and my in-laws outside of Palermo on the island of Sicily. So most every summer this is where we call home.

Needless to say, I've had a lot of practice with the art of packing, though it doesn't help that each year we've had another child and increasing limitations from the airlines on luggage. Our trips are always multifaceted: islands, flea markets, usually a wedding or other dressy occasion, restaurants, religious events, hiking, snorkeling...for a family of five the shoes alone for these various activities meander around 15 pairs, to satisfy only the essentials!!

So as the cliche goes of women bringing entirely too much luggage, I began the process of paring down and bringing only the essentials - but they had to be first and foremost beautiful, then multifunctional, comfortable and washable, in that order. Here are my essentials and non essentials, or things that can be purchased upon arrival. Of course everyone's vacations are different so make a list of weather, activities and differences in culture and environment.

Here's mine:

Weather: July in Italy: HOT, HOT, HOT little to no good working AC

Activities: beach lounging, snorkeling, cliff diving, hiking, walking, restaurant dining, wedding, flea market shopping, city shopping, antiquing

Cultural and environmental differences: Sicily is an island with predominantly island-wear, NOT what you'd be tooling around my local farmer's market in. Breathable fabrics, big jewelry, skin bearing clothing, sandals, subtly cooler evenings. Florence and Rome are definitely more city wear, great flats or heels, well put together outfits, NOT easy-breezy like Sicily.

What To Pack

Clothing:

Pick a color palette and stick too it. Interchangeable pieces are key, not too many prints (maybe just one or two), mostly solids and accessories which take up no space can abound to change things up. Convertible pieces that can go from day to night, scarves, a couple of bags (beach, city day, night, flea market tote) and one, yes, one good pair of heels that match your evening attire...remember 3 kids, one suitcase per person.

Make-up and Toiletries:

Bring multipurpose color pots; think cheeks, lips, eyes in one, add mascara and gloss, done. Or have your eyelashes tinted before you go and ditch the mascara. Creams (I only bring one foot cream for beachy feet), shampoos, toothpaste and all the other bathroom necessities can be picked up where you are and you'll love bringing it all home...foreign languages on the bottles and exotic scents to remind you of your vacation. My favorite cheap finds are at Bottega Verde, though the pricier but awesome Collistar is not to be overlooked, I stock up on their body milk no other scent compares 25 euro a bottle.

Make it feel like home:

Bring a soy candle in a metal pot, I always bring lavender.
Load up your Ipod with summer music and sleepy time music for the kids.

The Details, organized in outfits (see what you can find in the pictures!):

Wearing in photo

-White linen and crocheted dress, Daffy's, $30. Just the perfect neckline for itty bitty titties like mine!!
-Artemisia necklaces, prices vary, see Primadonna

Splurge Outfit
-Prairie organic romper, Arcadia, $108
-Dulce butter soft gladiators, $120, Garnet Hill
-Pyrite watchband bracelets, $60, Primadonna, and deerskin wrap, $24, Arcadia Artemisia
-Beaded wood necklace flea market find, maybe $1
-Handmade buckskin crossbody messenger bag, Artemisia, price upon request.

-Artemisia aloe green a-line linen skirt with bustle detail, $250 upon request
-Missoni tank, $30, Syms
-White Lipari stone necklace, Artemisia private collection
-Calvin Klein Sunglasses, $15, Syms

-Cotton tulle scarf, Artemisia, it goes on and on and doesn't feel sticky in the summer, $30
-Wax seal necklace, green amethyst and cut crystal droplet Artemisia Primadonna, $325
-H&M white elongated asymetrical henley, $24
-H&M Short shorts, $25, great when worn with belted big shirt - very Juliet Binochet in The English Patient look...I am, after all, going to Sicily, desert and sea everyday!!
-Silpada belt, awesome find! I was pressured into trying to find something I wanted to buy at one of these parties where I was less than impressed with what they're known for, "jewelry," $100
-Prada aviator sunglasses, from pre-three kids, total impulse purchase, $250

Bikinis:
-Daffy's, $19, embellished by Artemisia
-Victoria's Secret, $50

Extras:
-The Times of India bag, Marshalls Home Goods, $9.99. It fits clothes for a family of five for an entire beach weekend, is unbelievably still considered a carry on!
-Glowology Hand and Foot Cream, works miracles for beach hardened feet and smells like summer

-Whole Foods Soy Lavender candle, $8
-L'Occitane stain for cheeks, lips, eyelids, cleavage: wherever needed!
-Havianas flip flops (distressed that the ipanema flip flops designed by gisele bundchen have not arrived yet, cheaper better made and more unique, free worldwide shipping!!), $15

PS - Marisa is a clothing and jewelry designer, and her awesome duds are under the label Artemisia. You can see them in the photos above, order directly from her (though not, of course 'til she gets back from Italy!), or find where you can buy in stores on her website.

Team Charlie

I just finished watching 'Twilight: Eclipse' with Jess, it was our secret afternoon movie date for the third installment of the Twilight series. We read the books together, feverishly passing them back and forth to each other before the full fledged twi-hard phenomena.

I will admit I LOVED the books and imagined myself as the teen angsty Bella Swan, panting over perfect Edward and hot and sweaty Jacob.

I also loved those crazy creatures of the night in early high school when I dyed my hair black, brooding and listening to Bauhaus. I shelved the vamps though, until Twilight fever. I was a johnny-come-lately to the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' series, but after finishing 'Twilight' I watched the entire series via Hulu and LOVED! I have read all the Sookie books, too and I am enjoying True Blood (who could not love Mr. Northman?) Where will it end...!?

fanged favorites Angel and Spike from Buffy, and Eric Northman from True Blood

Proof of full vamp appreciation:

Last year's halloween costumes: my shirt says "only a vampire can love you forever,"

hubby's shirt says "fangtasia, life begins at night."

All found at (dare I say), Hot Topic

So Eclipse was, as expected, totally fun and followed the book nicely. Edward and Jacob (of course) were terribly hot and drool-worthy. Edward smolders, Jacob never has his shirt on. The big question following the movie: are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Men over 35, this one is for you: I think I am Team Charlie.

Who is Charlie, you ask? Bella's hot DAD. Not of the fanged variety at all and keeps all his clothes on. I am totally team Charlie! He's cute, in great shape, funny and a good dad (or at least plays one). Could this be a sign of maturity?

And I even kinda dig that mustache. Go Team Charlie!

Trying it on the Cheap

Does everyone remember a few months ago when we braved the, umm...older section of Nordstrom's to see what we could find about "Not Your Daughter's Jeans?" And we were pleasantly surprised by them, though slightly disturbed by both the demographic and price range we were entering.

Naturally, our next stop on this investigation was Target, home of clothes that are the great equalizer - essentially the same designs, shapes, colors, and prices from toddler to "mature." We were there specifically to try on their "Fit Solutions" Slimming Style, with Tummy Control Panel. Seemed by description to be the aiming for the same ballpark as the NYDJeans, but with the lovely price tag of $29.99.

Well. Really, as with most things at Target (and you all know I LOVE me some Target), these jeans are fine. They are nothing more, and nothing less. They don't look bad, but they don't look great. They "control" a bit, but not much. They are totally worth the price, and not a penny more. I can imagine wearing them very occasionally, and bitching about how much they've stretched and how high the waist is.

This is, perhaps, part of a larger discussion we should have about the endlessly complicated issue of quality versus quantity. And again, you know that I fall (honestly, by upbringing) on spending less and buying more. Hence, my drawers are filled with semi-lame jeans and shirts and skirts and shorts like these, that sort of fit and are sort of what I was looking for, but were cheap enough that I figured it was worth it. In the end I've no doubt spent enough on jeans that I don't like to have bought one of those wonderful, fitted-glove-like expensive pair of jeans from some fabulous brand they sell in the appropriate department of Nordstroms.

But I'm simply a sucker for all the cheap crap at Target. Is that so American of me?

(Once it isn't so hot in my bedroom, I'm going to clean out my drawers and closet, and I'm going to be ruthless. I'll show you some pictures.)

But back to the point. I think these jeans are totally fine, and I can't say anything more or less about them. If you want jeans to do an OK job of pulling you in and smoothing you out, get these. Buy one size down. Don't expect a ton. Plan to buy more jeans in the next few months.

Summer in the City (or the beach, or the pool...)

My most favorite summer dress I picked up at my most favorite store in Philly. I have worn it so far to the beach, the city, and the pool, with clunky wooden sandals or flip flops. The color is especially fantastic whilst posing in front of an old city building painted blue.

It feels weightless like a handkerchief and the pattern seems to hide the undies or bathing suit pretty well.

The racerback is kinda interesting, too...

If you see me this summer I will most definitely be wearing it all the time!